Thursday, February 04, 2010

Beware of the Editor: Revisiting Chandrayaan

This video was uploaded on the blog over two and a half years ago. But the sheer excitement of being on television prevented me from commenting on the delightful way the media absorbs information and spits out complete drivel ruining people’s days in the process. Now that the global oil prices have finally stabilized, I can take out some time to elaborate.

In the year 2007 I was the part of the team which was supposed to be blamed for anything which went wrong during Shaastra 2007. One of the highlights of the event was a feature on Chandrayaan with some of the project leaders telling us about how the whole thing would make the moon (and ISRO) look cool again. Thanks to the media interest, we (me, Muski, Parinda & Jimmy) landed ourselves in this short segment on NDTV. We ditched a class and gave a 20 min long discourse to the reporter on various aspects of the whole project and how it was received by the students. I have given below a succinct version of what we actually told and then how irreverent and imbecilic editing made the whole thing resemble a train wreck.

Input

Me: I expressed my wonder that something so complex could actually be so small and compact.

Jimmy: He discussed at considerable length the details of the two talks we had, describing in intricate detail the technological aspects and future implications. He ended it by quoting one of the jokes of the main speaker about how you could even plan a honeymoon on the moon thanks to Chandrayaan.

Muski, Parida: Discussed their learning at length and their pride at being associated with the event.



Output

The video begins with the anchor saying that one of the aims of Chandrayaan would be to explore the possibility of honeymooning on the moon. Any doubts about whether she is joking is removed by the capital lettered tab below, screaming similar sentiments. Well news anchors are known to have an IQ lesser than Pacific plankton. So she can be excused. But the rest of segment was even more depressing.

Sounding like a wife after the wedding night, expressing her deep anguish about the short-comings of her partner, I am heard saying “Its very small. Its not as big as you are expecting it to be”. The sense of appreciation comes across as complete disillusionment with the India space program just because of sizing issues.

Muski barely manages to mention how proud he was before being brutally cut off to focus on an apparently melancholic and suspiciously constipated Parinda who mentions something about polar ice caps with his body language clearly indicating he doesn’t think highly of NDTV. The fact that he had been speaking for quite a while and may have begun drift a bit comes across as total indifference in the few seconds he gets.

But the worst was reserved for dear Jimmy. None of his astute observations on the event made it to the final cut other than his off the cuff remark on honeymoons with his mistimed snigger making it look as if he needs help in reigning in his mental faculties. The fact that they spelt his name Ukala, leaving out the all important N and making him look like a retarded descendent of a Hawaiian musical instrument didn’t help in anyway.

After this sorry excuse of a news report and ruining our carefully crafted reputations by calling us ‘techies’ on screen, we have refused all future NDTV requests for interviews till date.

11 comments:

Nikita said...

oh dear...that was such a disaster! well, the secrets of a newsroom are many, some of which i was amused to discover recently when we shot this small bit for cnn-ibn.

did you know, for instance, that size of the ego of an anchor is inversely proportional to their IQ? i cudnt believe the amount of crap they dish out non-stop when the camera is off. AND the rest of the crew just takes it with a pinch of salt.

on the brighter side, though, they have gorgeous voices and excellent diction. so u may sometimes be excused for failing to notice their BS :D

PS: i have stopped lamenting the state of the media these days. it is too old a complaint now. i dont expect much to change or soon.

also, LOVE your blog. it's a laugh riot. pity u dont blog often enough!

Radio said...

Can't stop tripping on Jimmy!

Sravan said...

It will take twelve more years for all the, ahem, juice about the mission to spill out.
Had you used context-sensitive ads on your blog, we could have found organ enlargement links.

Sandeep said...

ha ha ha.. nice one yaar. i remembered the whole episode yet again, especially the fundaes of jimmy and his cupping the good work at the end. ofcourse mein tensed tha yaar, afterall it was the first tv interview (even if for a few seconds :))
keep up the good work yaar..

P.S.: comments from muski and jimmy wud be great :)

Aditya said...

Welcome back professor!!

jimmy said...

Truth! The truth came out finally. Let me say 'in your face' to bale and all that tripped on this

Retarded descendant of Ukelala, a musical instrument...Seriously, not even a living being?? Oh God! I hate them even more now

And, the tripping transcended borders of IIT, Tamil Nadu and even India. Tomorrow, when I become rich, I will start a fund-raising for 'terribly-misrepresented-projected-as-retards-by-media-tripped-over-again-and-again-and-hence-depressed' kind of people. :P

Siva Shanmukh said...

The title of this post should have been "HONEYMOON ON THE MOON". It clearly shows what of the whole input you gave caught their year. This tells us that we should never give them even for trip's sake something like honeymoon considering their IQ

tingtong said...

jimmy seriously looks like a retard! more retarded than normal

Sayan said...

@nikita: I am aware of the IQ-Ego equation. Its not just limited to the media. India TV is the best. They don't pretend to be intellectual and far more entertaining. BTW, I do intend to increase my blogging frequency.

@radio: Don't. Poor chap has suffered enough.

@Sravan: hey! gr8 to hear from you. In bang or hyd?

@parinda: Salle, i heard you are slogging a lot ? I am ashamed of you.

@aditya: High time.

@jimmy: keep me updated with your collections progress.

@sthanpuke: ponnuswamy next weekend?

@tingtong: hey! you are alive! Good.

THAT'LL BE ALL MY LORD said...

Prof I take my stinging sarcasm back......... Trippy this is! truly!

Mohan K.V said...

Fuck, this is epic! "an IQ lesser than Pacific Plankton", "deep anguish about the shortcomings of her partner" and the capital lettered tab. And the stabilized oil prices, ROFLMAO :D